Because I feel like complaining
In the two weeks that J has been a fleet Marine we've talked on the phone for about 40 minutes one night (friday...so he had the rest of the night off of course) and that is just about it. a few minutes here and there and a couple of texts.
I don't know if he's just so busy and tired that he can't take a minute to talk to me, or if he just doesn't feel like making a minute to talk to me. Which would be unlike him...but it seems like he doesn't want to talk when we're talking. And for him, it probably doesn't seem that way, because he's busy doing crap all day long, but I'm not. I notice. It doesn't feel good and I don't know how to talk to him about it...
I'm not the kind of girl that must have a goodnight phone call every night and I don't need a play-by-play every day. It's just not necessary for me to know his every move all the time. But I miss him. And when I have a crappy day (aka: every day...) I just want to hear his voice. I don't think he understands what it means to me to have him call me...but when he doesn't it's like it just makes my day that much worse. I just feel shrugged off for more important things...which I guess I should probably get used to...
The other thing that is frustrating, is my sister is now in a relationship (facebook official and everything) with the friend that J introduced her to and she talks about how they talk all day long and how he's so excited to skype her and blah blah blah and just makes it seem so much worse that I'm not talking to J...
I love him more than anything in the world, I just don't know how to deal with this without sounding like I'm selfish...What he's doing is important. I don't want to distract him from his work. It's important to him to make sure he knows what he's doing and that he holds his own against the infantry Marines in hikes and all that other stuff. I don't want to sound like I'm being a big baby and have him get all frustrated with me because he doesn't know how to make time for me. Or maybe he just doesn't want to make time.
I don't know. I'm done complaining...guess it doesn't matter...It's my blog and I can complain if I want...not like anyone reads this anyway.
I'm Katie. I'm a 20-something Soldier & student taking each day one step at a time. Living through all the growing pains that come with
becoming that person that I always wanted to be & finding that bright side in all of this Camo-Colored Chaos. You can get to know more about me here.
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