If I Ever Have Children They May Not Survive...

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend. We talked a bit about our upbringing. We talked about how it has shaped the people we have become and yada yada yada. It got me thinking to myselt...If I were to become a mother some day, what kind would I be?

I came up with this: A horrible one! 

Here are the top ten reasons that I would be a terrible mom.

I am a bad fish parent...Even though I see this nearly empty bowl every day, I can't be bothered to clean it and get fresh water...Lazy? Guess so.

I forget everything. 

I am messy...Oh god, I'm so messy. I would lose my child in my messes...

My keys are always in the bathroom, my phone is always on the kitchen counter, and my shoes are never where I took them off. My scattered brain cannot handle kiddie objects as well.

I'm married to the gym, and I plan to be Drill Instructor strict about fitness.

And in the same breath about being healthy...I consider this shit to be lunch. 

I refuse to wear pants when I'm in my house.

I like to try new things...and sometimes it ends up bad...And you can bet your bottom dollar, that whatever I tried is going to be put to use at least once.  Unfortunate souls...



I am always in the mood for spaghetti, so we'll probably have it for dinner 3 times a week. Every. Single. Week. 

Sorry, Kids. 

One day, I plan on popping one out, and I hope that by that time, I've changed a little bit, because right now, it's looking like if I ever have children, they may not survive their childhood.  


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I'm Katie. I'm a 20-something Soldier & student taking each day one step at a time. Living through all the growing pains that come with becoming that person that I always wanted to be & finding that bright side in all of this Camo-Colored Chaos. You can get to know more about me here.

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Jane said...

Bahahahah! Omg I feel the exact same way. If I were to have a kid right now it would be a disaster. Total disaster.

Kara said...

My kids eat chicken nuggets far more than they should. I can't make anything, so I don't even have a pinterest account to make me feel guilty about it, there's nothing wrong with spaghetti for dinner (tomato sauce is a vegetable, right?), and I do forget things, just not my kids. Mine are thriving, so you'll be ok.

Jen said...

bahaha this is too funny, but I think you would be a great Mom!! :) We all think we would be bad parents until we actually are one. :)

Jamie said...

Somehow, most of them survive. Kids are pretty hardy. :)

Deb@CookingOnTheFrontBurner said...

Over here from the hop and a new follower... I enjoyed reading your story! Would love to have you stop by as well... have a good night :-)

Steph said...

Ok. I had to read this because of your Sunday Social link and I just about died at "One day I plan on popping one out" Hahaha!!

I also firmly believe that when I have kids it will be a hot mess for many of the reasons you named above. :p

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