I have always thought too much. I ponder and I muse and I wonder. All the time.
It isn't always a bad thing, but sometimes, it really is. When you think about any one thing a little bit too much, it turns into something that it isn't. I can't even count the number of times this has happened to me.
Over the past week or so, I've been having these great deep chats with my little sissy. I call her my little sissy, but she's a senior in high school and planning out her college career. I still think of her as this lil' baby that I played Polly pockets for hours upon hours.
But she isn't. She's not a baby anymore, and she has actually had a lot to do with me coming to my senses over my "issues." I have...a million issues. Just like everyone else in this world. Sometimes they're old issues sometimes they're new, but they're there, and Megan, my lil' sissy likes to help bring them all into the light and dust 'em all off.
Today, I laid in my bed thinking all about the things I've discussed with Megan. Then it occurred to me...maybe I should stop all this thought. I mean obviously, it's not realistic to try to stop thinking entirely, but it's possible that I'm giving all this time and energy to things that don't even deserve it.
I think the biggest problem with all this thinking, is that a lot of the time, another person is involved in all of the thinking and how the hell am I supposed to know what is going on in another person's head? I can't possibly know and now I've just allowed my imagination to create the worst possible scenario when maybe, just maybe, it was what it is.
I made a promise to myself a while ago that I would leave things alone. I promised myself that I would live in the moment. I would be me and do me and not get all caught up in the trivial bull shit.
And I did just that. I got caught up and I let old things hurt me. I had expectations beyond that of reality because I didn't just see what my life is for what it is. But that is about to change.