An Indomitable Will

Tomorrow (okay...1 am so today...) is the day that I say goodbye...

I say goodbye to everything that I have known for the longest time.

I say good bye...

...to my wooby, my nice warm bed, and long restful nights.

...to blogging about my day when it's crappy.

...to making dinner for my family and dancing around the kitchen while I do it. 

...to my parents, my sisters, my cousins, my aunts and uncles... 

I say goodbye to everyone; to everything. 

My life has been packed up in boxes and I have finally reached the end of this chapter of my life. The chapter where I live with my parent and use my money to buy Cafe Rio every pay day...The chapter where I don't have to pay rent. The chapter where it's not my responsibility to be sure that there is food in the fridge. The chapter where I'm a kid. 

I'm leaving it behind and starting something bigger. And I'm scared.

I am scared to death and I only hope that I have the strength to get through this next step.

Okay, that's enough fragment sentences for one day. Don't you agree?

I have thought long and hard what I wanted to say tonight. So long, in fact, that I'm posting really late...It's crazy to think that this is amount my last posts! BUT! You guys have a lot to look forward to reading while I'm gone. I have some fantastic guest posters that I'm sure you will enjoy. I know that I have already. Their posts will be going live as a part of my "While I'm Away" Series starting on February 4th with Ashley from Ms. A. Bish.  I'm very excited to have some many great people posting for me and I hope you love them all as much as I do!

I also have quite a few stacked up in the archives that are scheduled to go live throughout my absence, but this is the last one that I'll be writing...in the moment, I suppose you could say.

But anyway... As I was saying. I thought about what I would write for a while and I finally decided. Here it goes. 

This journey...this trip through my life has not been easy, thus far. I wouldn't say that I've had it so much harder than most people though. I have two parents that love me. I have two sisters that I get along with very well. I have talents, brains (somedays...), ambitions, and a life that is truly so worth living. 

Plus...I'm cute right?

I know that we're all on this quest to be happy. We're all looking for what is going to complete our lives, but somehow, we find ourselves constantly disappointed. We discover that relying on what comes next to make us happy only makes us miserable. So we have to live in the present. 

Well maybe we all haven't realized that, but I certainly have. I spent too much time waiting on something to happen.  I've been waiting for my ship to come in...

Well let me tell you...

I have discovered that I can't just wait. I can't just allow time to pass and wish for a future with happiness in it. I have to chase after the things that you want in spite of everything...because of everything that is working against you. 

With that being said...It seems I have contradicted myself. But this is the part where I say something that creates a sort of cohesion and you begin to understand my crazy rambles...

I want to enjoy this next little chunk of my struggle. Instead of saying...when I'm all done with basic I will be happy I will fight for that title, whether they make me do it or not.  I'm going to deserve everything that is given to me, good and bad. I'm going to chase after every opportunity presented to me, and whether I achieve my goal or not, I will be happy. Why is that, you ask? Well, because I will be proud of whatever I do, whether the outcome is what I wanted or not. 

Have I begun to make sense?

I have concluded that my only option is to do my best and that is where my happiness will lie.

I am so ready to finally live this dream. And most of all...to prove to everyone who thought I couldn't do this that I can. 

With this, I leave you...

Hopefully you'll get one more post tomorrow. I was going to write it tonight...but I've already stayed up way past my bed time thinking too much. 

Happy Saturday/Sunday, friends.