Ranty...

Have I ever said that being 19 is hard? Okay, I have probably said it 100 times. But it's just true.

Right now, I'm in a really good place. Things seem to actually be going my way. I've made a lot of decisions all by myself and I'm working really hard to be happy by myself and with my man. The first one is a lot harder than the second...that is for sure.

All that stuff makes it exponentially easier to be 19 than it was only a few moths ago. But it can still be really difficult. I feel like everyone is constantly watching my every move just waiting for me to make a wrong move so that they can say "I told you so." I get all this constant advice that is very commonly invalid (I'm not saying I don't like getting advice from those who have experienced more living than I have. I'm aware that these people are older and wiser, but they haven't been in my situation...and they need to let me make my own mistakes and quit telling me "You should...")  and doesn't apply to me or my situation.

I just get tired of being...judged? I don't know if that's the right word. I feel like my relationship isn't taken seriously. It's like...our engagement doesn't mean as much as any other person. It's true that it is very different. We can't set a wedding date, we don't get to see each other, we have a relationship through text messages and phone calls...It's different. But It shouldn't be discounted.

I also shouldn't have to explain wanting to get married. I've had to do that a lot too. I know people who got engaged after us who are getting married in September and no one asks them "what's the rush?" But I get asked that all the time. "Why are you in such a hurry?"
Uh..becuase I want to be married to the love of my life. Just like all the other engaged people in the world...

jeez.