Perspective : (noun) the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed.
(as defined by Merriam-Webster)
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about perspective. I have thought about it in regards to myself and my relationship.
The way you see a certain situation can make the biggest difference. That seems like such a *duh* type of thing, but it's surprising to me how hard it can be to take off my figurative glasses and put on someone elses for a minute or two. I think that it's hard to do because each person has had different experiences in their life that have caused them to see things the way they do.
I think that in a relationship, you have to at least try to trade glasses. When you have an argument , you have to take a step back and gain some perspective from more than just your angle, becasue chances are, there's more than one way to look at whatever situation you might be in.
Hmmm...Example? Probably necessary, I can get confusing when I go all philosophical.
My birthday.
Hmmm...Example? Probably necessary, I can get confusing when I go all philosophical.
My birthday.
In my eyes, a birthday is kind of a big deal. You make some sort of gesture that is going out of your way to be nice to someone because it's their birthday. I see it that way becaseu birthdays in my family are always a big deal. It's not just another day. It's your day.
In J's family, birthdays are not a very big deal. They might have family dinner and cake and icecream but they aren't much for presents and it's just not all that big a deal to do anything particularly special.
So when J just sent me a text that day that said "Happy Birthday (and a few other lovey-dovey things)" and then I didn't hear from him until I sent him a text at 11:00 pm that warned him that I was expecting at least a phone call before the nice was over I was upset. He wasn't even planning on calling me (maybe he was and he got busy or whatever but he was still texting me...I don't know whatever...) but I honestly couldn't be mad at him. From his point of view, there was nothing more to be done after he acknowledged that it was my birthday. Too often, you look at something that a person does for/to you (or doesn't do for that matter) as such a crime when to them, it probably wasn't all that big of a deal. Personally, I think that a lack of multiple perspecitves is where problems root from.
That being said, I don't think that being able to have a different perspective is only important when concerning interelations with others. It's also important for a person as an individual to pick up the object in front of them and take a close look from another angle. Recently, I have been working very hard to gain a different perspective (personally, I don't like to say "gain perspective" without a "different" in there. Because you already have one perspective. Yours.) I have been so down in the dumps lately and have just felt worthless. I have a very negative body image, I feel bad for myself, I think that I'm defective because everything seems to just go wrong for me...
But starting a few weeks ago, I just told myself that it was time to take a step back and try to find a new way to look at this. And I am so glad that I did. Perspective. Give a new one a try. It'll change your life.
In J's family, birthdays are not a very big deal. They might have family dinner and cake and icecream but they aren't much for presents and it's just not all that big a deal to do anything particularly special.
So when J just sent me a text that day that said "Happy Birthday (and a few other lovey-dovey things)" and then I didn't hear from him until I sent him a text at 11:00 pm that warned him that I was expecting at least a phone call before the nice was over I was upset. He wasn't even planning on calling me (maybe he was and he got busy or whatever but he was still texting me...I don't know whatever...) but I honestly couldn't be mad at him. From his point of view, there was nothing more to be done after he acknowledged that it was my birthday. Too often, you look at something that a person does for/to you (or doesn't do for that matter) as such a crime when to them, it probably wasn't all that big of a deal. Personally, I think that a lack of multiple perspecitves is where problems root from.
That being said, I don't think that being able to have a different perspective is only important when concerning interelations with others. It's also important for a person as an individual to pick up the object in front of them and take a close look from another angle. Recently, I have been working very hard to gain a different perspective (personally, I don't like to say "gain perspective" without a "different" in there. Because you already have one perspective. Yours.) I have been so down in the dumps lately and have just felt worthless. I have a very negative body image, I feel bad for myself, I think that I'm defective because everything seems to just go wrong for me...
But starting a few weeks ago, I just told myself that it was time to take a step back and try to find a new way to look at this. And I am so glad that I did. Perspective. Give a new one a try. It'll change your life.
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