Why They Be Hatin'?

Today, I thought maybe I would take a look at some website where women talk about how they made their military wedding work. I've been thinking a lot about what J and I are going to do and I thought maybe I would try to see if there were other people in my situation.

To see it first-hand you can go to http://military.weddings.com/ and click on the "Military Wedding Board" on the right hand side.

Of course, I found several a million posts on a website by Theknot.com where women just tear into other women about their problems and situations. I cannot believe it. I mean, yeah, I understand that some people can be very naive about the situation and some of them are just straight up stupid, but what gives you (you being these women that are just destroying these women and probably making them cry) the right to say what they should and shouldn't do?

Yes, I know that these women have already gone through the process of getting married to a man in the military and should have some gem of advice that they can give to people like me that are just lost. But I just don't understand why they are doing it the way that they are.  The sad thing is, it's not just one or two women that are doing this. It's most of them!

For example, I read a post by a girl that said that the distance between she and her now husband has really been upsetting for her lately and she was asking the wedding board people how they cope with the longing. Instead of giving her advice on how they cope with it, almost every person that had a response was criticizing her and telling her that she needed to toughen up and learn to deal with it. It makes me so mad to read.

The whole point of her posting that on the site was to get help with dealing with her problem and instead of giving her advice that would help, they just made her feel like shit for having feelings and missing her husband.  I just can't believe it.  It's like they think that everyone is in the exact same situation as they are, so why can't the just do it the way the did? Wow, I am so glad that I have an awesome bunch of blogs to read when I need support or other bloggy spouses to reach out to. If I had to go message boards like that all the time, I would probably just decide that I don't even deserve to get married because I'm too poor/dumb/not cool enough. Whatever.

What gets me, is they are women that are on a Military Weddings website that have been married for who knows how long that spend all the their time tearing down other women who just want help. Don't they have anything better to do?

How rude...

I'm Katie. I'm a 20-something Soldier & student taking each day one step at a time. Living through all the growing pains that come with becoming that person that I always wanted to be & finding that bright side in all of this Camo-Colored Chaos. You can get to know more about me here.

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8 comments:

Betty said...

From what I hear, the Knot message boards are the worst! It's really hard to believe how people treat each other online.

I don't know if you read the blog Life With The Edwards (lifewiththeedwards.blogspot.com) or Mrs. Yellow Ribbon (mrsyellowribbon.blogspot.com) but you might want to check them out. LWTE is a military wife whose husband is currently deployed. MYR married her husband while he was on R&R during a 12 month deployment. He's no longer active duty but she would be a great resource! And both are really nice. Just thought I would share those with you!

Katie said...

Thank you! I will definitely use those resources!
It really is absurd. I keep reading because it's entertaining, but I really feel for the women that go there and find themselves just beaten down for asking a simple question maybe the wrong way...but jeez...

Holly said...

They don't have anything better to do, apparently. SO many military wives/gfs are like that! I didn't really have many milspouse friends when my husband was still in the Marines. He and I lived apart for our whole relationship and then got married 2 weeks before he left for Afghanistan. Then we were still apart for another 10 months when he got back. I don't know how much help I'd be, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask! hlewy87@gmail.com

Amelia said...

Definitely DON'T use the Knot, lol! I hated it. I went on there a few times while we were wedding planning and there was so much negativity and judgment. Sorry but as a 19 year old who was getting married I got plenty of that already, I did NOT need strangers online getting into my business even more!

If you have any questions or anything though let me know! Our ceremony wasn't a big deal but I've learned a lot and I'd be willing to help however I can.

Katie said...

I knew this blog would pay off! I really appreciate the support. I just might have a few questions for you! :)

Katie said...

Thanks, Amelia! I will certainly let you know if I have questions. I'm gla I'm not the only one who feels like this about those biznatches!

Mrs. Duh said...

I got married quite a few years ago, but I remember everyone always trying to put in their two cents and giving me the business about it. Planning a wedding is no easy task, especially when the military might throw a wrench into the plans!

Thanks for following my blog, and I'm following you too! I'm also a Utah gal! I lived in the SLC until three years ago. How I miss it!

Jane said...

People on The Knot are crazy/awful/bitches! I went on a few times right before/after Daniel and I got married. Before getting married we had been together for a year and a half, we were in our mid 20's, I had already finished college, I was living on my own, we had stable jobs, etc. And, people STILL treated me like crap. Whether you are 19 or 23 they treated me exactly the same. I got attitude from people when I asked about sending out marriage announcements because we did a justice of the peace marriage. Umm, I'm fairly sure like 50% of the military does that. What's the big deal? lol It was ridiculous.

 
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