Nowhere to go but forward...

Alright, I decided that before I start moving things into place, I'd give you a sneak-peak of my bedroom.

Like I said, in high school I thought that these two colors would be totally awesome...Well I've not only grown out of that but I also have an extremem need for change right now. This room has been a place where I have shared a lot of things with a lot of people (not just J) and I really want this room to be different. I want it to be a place where I can escape and not think about the people that I've shared this room with.

What do you think?

A couple of days ago, I bought a white shelf thing and some drawers to go inside it ( I also bought a bunch of new gym clothes and I spent way too much money...#retailtherapy...haha)

I'm planning to get rid of that dresser in the top picture, my computer/computer desk, and my TV. I am considering also getting rid of that book shelf in the talk picture as well, but I haven't quite decided yet.

I hope that this brand-new room will help me feel...clensed. I've been so frustrated with everything in my life for the longest time. Even when I was ridiculously happy with J and I could hardly want another thing in the world, I felt lost. I felt like I had no direction and no real plans for me. Yeah, at that point, I was planning a life with J. I was really excited about that, but it was hard to be okay with just being a wife. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just didn't see that being the life for me.

Currently, I'm at a turning point (I'm not happy about how I got to this point, but as much as I hate to admit it, it must be for the best...) that basically decides how things go for me for the rest of my life. Yes, it's true, you can change your direction at 25, 30, 50...whatever, but I'm seeing this "transition period" of my life as a very crucial point in my life. 

I talked to J's sister last night. We'll call her T. T said something to me that was very insightful. She said "What other choice do you have than to pick up and forget about it?"

And she's right...I won't just be able to forget the way that I have been treated, and I won't forget this hurt that I am feeling right now, but I don't have any other choice but to pick up and move on with my life.  I'm not going to feel better over night, but I have to take some baby steps...And my room, that is the first step.

I've got nowhere to go but forward... 

P.S-- I check into my unit and get my military ID on Tuesday...I'm getting my drill schedule and I'm gonna get to work...Wish me luck!